Hard Truth to Keep Christian Life Going

Fatigue on the body, renewed and strong in the mind. It has been a busy 3 weeks with absolute no time to reflect think. That probably explains why I have been quite robotic these days. Sometimes I feel like I'm turning into muscle-brain, all brawls and no brains.

The Father Heart conference has been really enlightening. It has put perspective and wisdom into the Christian life that I never thought it could and would be but the simple truth are there and its right in the bible. I just wished I had known these truth earlier in my life.

I'm not a big fan of LKY but I do subscribe to his philosophy and characteristic. I like how he is firm on his perspective and determination to bring to reality of what he conjured and voraciously devoured in readings. Taking from his book title, I realize upon that there are hard truth as well to keeping a Christian life going.

The very first truth about accepting Jesus is that He is the Lord and also the bridge to bring us back to the first love, that is the Father Himself. It did felt like I have been living my whole 9 years of Christian life being delusional about who I was really praying to and my own identity. But now I know for sure, first of all, God is the Father who know about everything about me and I am redeemed as a Son. The embracing of the Son-ship and Daughter-ship identity is imperative because that's who we are and we must go to His presence as His children.

The second truth to such is that because we are His children, there must be a relationship to it. I love how James Jordan has mentioned that "How can God made you from the beginning and He does not have a place in your life?". That is truth in the simplest form and I thoroughly believe that it is such truth that sets us free.

The third truth with regards that we are His children and relationship ensures, obedience is the next most important truth. I now understands that God appreciates sacrifice from us but what He desires more is our obedience to Him. I laughed to myself when I heard Larry Randolph said "Sometimes we go to great length, maybe offering ourselves to do mission in Afghanistan or the ends of the earth. But when God ask " why don't you wake up at 6 a.m. and worship me for 10 minutes?", we hesitates".

Above all, I have figured that the easiest and simplest way of explaining the backbone of a Christian life is, if we are not comfortable with love from friends and/or family, we do not understand love. It is then we must seek understanding from the Father, the originator and creator of love, to touch us. James Jordan also gave a perspective shift, in that we must not view our life as being limited. In fact, we have already gained immortality and we are already living in eternity from the time that we are born. It's just a matter of our spiritual being shifting in realms after physical death.

In concluding, what is most important is, how is my life today with God the Father? Do I really view Him and experience Him as a Father to me? 

Thought Menagerie

Reading further into the book "Changes That Heal", the word "Savior Complex" suddenly comes into my mind. As I read more and understands more, I want to acknowledge that there is a hidden side to this whole church political situation.

At this very moment of writing, I'm not exactly convinced that there is a good side to whatever happened but after much talking to Shawn, if I really want healing and changes to happen for the better, I must acknowledge certain point.

That God is ever good and plans to prosper us and for every bad thing that happens, God has a finger in it and there is something to learn and mature from.

Perhaps it is being taken down that the performance veil is remove from me so that I can see and deal with what lurks underneath. I am desperately attracted to depressed and helpless people because subconsciously I see myself as somewhat of  Savior. What a ugly ego, perhaps. It is intriguing to think what happens when I am no longer filled from God yet still continues to pour into people's life.

I am exactly what the book has described as, excessive caregiver. I think what is powerful is when the next chapter talks about responsibility and boundaries. That what my thoughts and pains are happening, are my responsibility and the same goes for other people. Should I ever cross to care about other's problem, it is still their responsibility and I should not expect reciprocation.

What really struck me is how powerful that puts me to be and how powerless it sets me to be as well. Powerful because we can affect how others feel when they are in a mess, however should we ever step out of their life, we become powerless because we feel responsible for their life and if it goes wrong, we feel like crap. Yet the truth is that we are not responsible, not for other's decision and happiness.

This is not an encouragement of selfishness but setting the boundaries to where our feelings and emotions ends and where others begins.

I supposed with great power comes great responsibility.