You made me --

Sometimes, being you guys friend, its so damn hard. Seriously. Its like my mom taking my dad's nonsense.

After pool went to Yi Min house to meet them, because I want to see them. Does that sounds like I appreciate them as my friend ? Well, of course you dumbass if you think its not. Only to get some nonsense which they may decide that its my immaturity. curiousity and un-thoughtfulness of me to get piss off.

Seriously, they kept whispering to each other, handsign and they don't want to let me know whats happening. Next, they say it got nothing to do with me but they can't let me know. Next, they went praying to "god" for whatever reason because of the place they're going down which they dun even want to tell me. If it got nothing to do with me, why can't they tell me. If they can't tell me, they can tell Yu Fen ? Thats nice. Very nice of them. What kind of friend ? Doing something against their conscious thats why cannot tell ? Or is it some million dollar trade secret ? Wow, I'm amazed. Bullshit.

When will they become more mature ? Oh sorry, I think I need to hit myself in the head because I used to think they're mature. Not a chance. For 4 year, I've been tolerating nonsense like this, most of the time giving in to them because they're my good friends. Wow, I manage to put good instead of "good". Okay, how about good friends who don't celebrate your birthday since the day you met them ? Hmm, maybe. Sorry, I don't want to justify. I'll leave this to outsider, or whoever people who are still watching my blog.

I don't think I have a bad attitude. I also don't think I'm a jerk, IN ANYTHING. By that I meant everything. I don't fuck around with some girl, like some "people". And in the end, even if XZ seperate, its you guys own doing. I've always, always trying to meet everyone of you to catch up even when my schedule is crazily booked or really messed. What more do you want ?

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Numbness' coming back. Maybe I'm going hospital soon.

Rest.

Yesterday got home and the sensation spread to all my 10 finger..

Apparently, it was because I didn't get enough sleep and my bone marrow didn't produce enough blood. So in short, I was short of blood. HAHAHA ! Its quite funny to me actually.. But before I know the diagnosis, I was pretty scare. I even wrote down my last wish on my laptop. But I deleted it anyway xD

Alright I was just thinking if I were to faint halfway and go hospital cause I need blood, I figure out that it wouldn't be of trouble. Cause I also realize my blood is universal and I can accept any blood type in humankind. LOL.z

Of course, my last wish that I wrote was a passionate kiss with "her". Follow by playing my favourite song to audience ranging from 10 to 1000 and bid the XiZi people farewell before I go off to nirvana. HAHA ! Kind of funny actually.

Anyhow, just woke up and felt better. Slept for like 14 hour straight anyway. I think I'm going JAPrintz to visit Leon and see what they doing later. I'm gonna be boreddddddd.

Through the copper wire.

Woke up this morning at 11.30am. Yes I'm late for work.

Apparently, I was late for work and Andre didn't say anything. Shocked. But more importantly, this morning I woke up with something VERY weird. And possibility, I might need to go for operation perhaps.

Before going out, I had a electric shock sensation when I touched my house keys.. It was weird but I thought it was nothing. It became so obvious when I reached woodlands point. Supposed it was nothing when you touch the escalator side strip right ? The rubber rubber thing. BUT I HAD A BIG SHOCKED. I almost jumped ! Its crazy.

When I reached the shop I tried to turn on the computer by moving the mouse. I got even a bigger shock. If I'm not wrong, these shock became worse when there is electricity ? my god. I think its a pinched nerve, neurological problem or.. I'm having heart disease. If not then its.. Fuck. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome ? And its only on my ring finger that have this sensation. I don't know man. half of my brain tells me its no big deal and no need to go for the doctor. But.. -_-" I think I'm gonna see how it goes.

But yes, it is true that it got worse when there is electricity, because I realize that our nerve runs on electricity ironically. But omg, I felt as though I could get a stroke or what any minute. I hope I get to see a doctor asap. Andre faster xfer me my pay la !

dark circle.

Been so lethargic. Jeez.

Yesterday reached Japrintz at 10.30am.. Work all the way till 5.30pm then Joseph and Orgim came. We went to somerset together cause I had my exam at 7pm. Didn't sleep for the night straight.. But somehow it was a miracle how I could put together my energy, study the last minutes and then went for the exam. It was also a miracle how the exam was such a breeze compared to the last exam I took. But again, 33 hour without sleep. Dead last night.

One funny thing when I take exam every time is I realize people always tend to breath more heavily during the exam. Like, you can hear them exhale so loudly. HAHA ! No, I'm not one of them.

Anyhow, reached home at 1.30am and then around 2.30am I fall asleep already.. But somehow its like I just slept for 1 minute and Its already 9.30am and I have to go for work. SIAN. Now back at JAPrintz and haiz. Don't know what to do. I can't wait for FMA Brotherhood ep 62 and Fairy Tail ep 34 to come out ! HAHA. But I think I'm gonna watch We Got Married of Ga-in and Jokwon. XD

Genie for you girl ~

Aiyaaaa, I don't know what to put for title lol. Just a random line from Genie by SNSD LOL

Today totally waste my day by playing white knight chronicle. But its so interesting ! Cisna and Leonard look totally like a perfect couple. But anyway, I manage to finish 50% of my assignment which will actually take 1 hour if I put my mind to it. HAHA. Plain lazy.

Around 9.30pm went to find Elson to take JAPrintz shop key. my god, tomorrow going to open shop. I hope Andre don't ask me do anything demanding or else I don't know how I'm going to revise for the HR Exam tomorrow. Should be easy to score an A. hehe.

Went to Yi Min house and they were all day. Then I keep teasing Meina LOL. But anyway, there is always something that is unique and easy to recognize when you see her. She always over-react. But thats kind of cute anyway. But somehow ah.. HAHA. Never mind.

Seems like everyone's having flu. Including me but I recovered already. YAY ! Its kind of getting cold nowadays.. Its a good thing I guess.. Whereas Singapore got 3 season which is summer, summer-er and summer-est. LOL

Alright ! I'm getting $500 for the executive job. Hope andre faster transfer me then I can finally go eat breeks which I'm craving for it. Okay, Its time to finish up all the assignment and mod Leon's PSP before he starting killing me because I kept promising him.. LOL

Very cold.

Brrrr.. Very cold.

Yesterday woke up around 5pm because went to ton at sembawang park with Xiaopang, Joseph and Elson. Went fishing with XP from 3am till 6am, not a single fish. wtf.

After going for class at 7pm, I didn't sleep all the way till now. Thats 21hour of non-sleep. I'm so tired ! OH my god, its so cold today la. It's 24 degree C outside and whats more i'm inside office. This must be around 19 or 20c.. Jeez. And I'm so sleeeeeeepy. Just now Mr. Ong treated me to lunch ! So good. Just nice when I am almost broke.. But arhg, I'm so tired.

Just now a customer walked in and called me "Miss". Fuck. When I raised my head, he was shocked. He was totally shocked. I know my hair is long la but.. LOL. Aiya, I'm a pretty boy thats why. :D

I'm so addicted to Brown Eyed Girls' Abracadabra ! And most of all, Ga-In the main vocalist ! My god, she's so hot. Its one of those celebrity that don't need to use so much effort and the sex appeal is high high high one la ! Unlike cindy wang or whatever celeb that oh well, tries too hard. I admire her leg, its amazing. But anyway, besides the appeals, the choreography of the MV for Abracadabra is very good. I totally can danced to it la !

Okay, I hope Leon faster come cause I want to take a nap. zzz

Lazed my Day out

Pretty lazed my day off today.. Didn't too anything productive also haha

Woke up at 3.30pm with a sleepy head and droopy eyes. The only thing I looked forward to after waking up is eating the curry my mom cooked after not eating for the past 18 hours. After that, time to surf net and play CS

I literally played CS till like 6pm ? Because I'm craving for L4D but apparently i'm too poor to afford a system that are even able to play L4D on the lowest setting. Next thing I know was I switch off my comp and play PS3. Haha ! I'm so addicted to White Knight Chronicles ! The princess and the lead character look so amazing. Well, that is something to always expect when playing JRPG.

Not JPG/JPEG. Its Japanese Role Playing Game. HAHA !

Yup. I did something unbeliveable. I read a e-novel from 12am till 4am non-stop and just now, I was trying to somehow enable Aero on my Windows 7 Starter edition which is pathetic and not any better than the imitation Windows 7 on XP's 6 year old desktop.

Going to sleep now. School's tomorrow. Kind of a turn off and monday blues. -_-"

Gig !

One hell of a day today.

Woke up at 12pm. Late for lecture and reached at 2.20pm.. LOL. Anyhow, exam questions are finally coming out.. But I guess they are all pretty easy for me. I'm so going to pass this module with A. Othman so good ! Treated me to starbuck during break xD

After class went to AMK hub to walk around and kill time before meeting alphonse and the band for jamming. Well, there was something quite funny that happen. I was waiting for my bus at the interchange and then 3 girls were talking about I looked like a prince. I swear because I look through the corner of my eye and saw them pointing my direction, yes, I also checked my surrounding and very sure there is no one that look more like a prince than me. HAHAHA ! I'm serious ! Unless they're blind.

At last, the standard of Sexcited is picking up. Yes ! Sexcited is the new band name after The Last Outcast was abandoned. HAHA ! But I really like the name Orgasm Decipher but its too long. I really hope we can go for the gig that is organised by dotbox media but I hope that company is not a scam. Cause some stuff just a bit funny to me. Finally, a gig. I've waited so long.

Reached home around 11.30pm. Was playing CS:Zombie Version around 12.30am then Joseph call me to go slack. I thought they wanted to ton sia ! Yes, we did not ton. If not I won't be blogging down here now. I think I'll either be stoning or I'm like on the highs haha !

I realized I seem to show a lot of concern for Yi Min nowadays. I think I need to back off. And yes, smoke break before sleep :D

Wordless & Collapse.

I don't even know where to start.

This afternoon arrived at JAPrintz and the moment Andre came in was to lecture me. I really just feel like quitting the job. No appraisal is okay, but not even motivating me to work ? wtf. He thought that giving me a $800 is a motivation. Malaysia company means Malaysia. He really thought he is hiring a Malaysian too. Anyhow, I'm so going to go out and find a job. I meant, a MARKET RATE PAID job. fuck japrintz. underpaid and overworked.

Run almost half of Yishun today and not even a sales. I don't mind. I'm just so used to not getting any sales. But even though, this is natural. Came home and fix my mom phone which cannot call out and receive calls. Turns out the outstanding bill was $422 which is just ridiculous.

I just don't know. I don't know what the fuck is going on with my family. Actually, should I even call it family ? I don't know. I really don't know how the fuck my mom actually call till $422, oh sorry. Well, its simple. I came to a conclusion. My dad actually take my mom's phone at night and use it. I really don't know how much must my dad continues to pull the whole family down with him. Seriously. If I had a choice right now, I rather be fucking filthy rich or I'll be down right fucking poor. Its just stupid to be stuck in the middle where I have to worry about this and that. Its like having high power but not enough capability to support it. Too chim ? figured it out yourself. (If you think its just an assumption made by myself, forget it. Cause I witness it.)

Somewhere somehow, I had suicidal thoughts. Don't understand why I'm even studying and working so hard at my age. Just so that I can get a good job next time ? Not even one of my friend I know work as hard as me. I'm already acting like an adult in their twenties. Just how long must I suffer and work till I can get my break ?

Probably I can forget it. Most likely I'm just born to be suay and worked so fucking hard and yes, not even really enjoying life. I think I can go round beating people now if they complain that the air-con in their house is not cold enough, they have not enough money but getting $10 a day and studying is too hard for them.

What the bible said is true. Whatever sins of the parent did, shall be taken by the next generation. And this verse, can only be understand by people who've gone through it or people who are deeply familiarized with the bible. Anti-christian and hypocrite, please, go away. And oh, one thing that I openly declared which I hated the most are bastards who go round criticizing this and that about Christianity and the bible and they don't even know 1 good thing about Christianity itself. Yes, one of those few people is one of my close friend. But whatever it is, the whole of my life is screwed. Including trying to play music and my lovelife.

Main point of the day, I think I'm going to be more ruthless.