So Much for a Birthday. :)

Hi All! I'm so completely happy on my birthday ! Yay. This morning, I had a quarrel with my mom ! yay. And yes. Ha! I'm so happy.
---- (that was some sarcasm. Now is the start of my ranting.)

Now. If you're so reluctant or troubled to celebrate my birthday then don't celebrate my birthday. Its just 5 minute of extra sleep and you're going go around ranting in the house and saying how hard it was for you to raise me and stuff like that. If you don't like it then don't raise me. Kill me then ! Why leave me alive to live this miserable life. I wanna find my Jesus sooner.

Everytime you're just like that. Just want a few minute of sleep and you start going ranting like how much I was a trouble to you and stuff like that. If taking child was a trouble, then no parent is ever happy ! I also never asked you to treat me like a prince or what. If you're going to blame me for become so dependent, then BLAME IT ON YOURSELF. @#$()#&_@*%*@#_.

You said 8th position in class was nothing. If it was so easy, THEN GO AND STUDY FOR ME ! Study ain't easy. It ain't easy with a guy with a small brain of 95 IQ. It ain't easy with all the ministry around. It ain't easy at all. It ain't easy when I'm struggling to go school every day. You'll never understand me. If everything was so easy I will proclaim myself as God. I don't need Jesus anymore ! No ! The fact that I have all this is because Its all my weakness. And that show I need God !

What is wrong with me believing in God ? What is wrong with committing in ministry ? Why IS EVERYONE GETTING THE WRONG IDEA OF CHRISTIANITY !! Its not a going church thing ! Its a COMMITMENT THING ! WHY WHY WHY !! DON'T EVER FREAKING PLAY WITH CHRIST !! Its not like a hotel where you can come and go !!

Anyway. Thank you. You made my birthday Memorable.

To my "very good" Mother
Ben.
---
Life just like that. Even on my Happiest Birthday ever. :)

Its okay. I'll stick with the fact that Jesus loves me and will always because He does not change like shifting shadows. That is the only thing I can be secure with.